I Can't Spare a Square

This evening I had the opportunity to attend a little movie known as Mamma Mia. I quite enjoyed the movie. Before going to the movie I went to dinner with my cousins and sister-in-law. At said dinner I was exposed to, and therefore drank, a vast amount of diet coke. Anyone who has spent any amount of time with me knows that my bladder is the size of a pea...thus diet coke is a dangerous combination. Now before you start thinking that I wet my pants, let me stop you: I did not. Back to the movie. Before the movie started I felt compelled to use the restroom for the fourth time since dinner. I didn't want to have to leave during the main event. I politely walked out of the theatre and down to the restroom, where I naturally went into the handicap stall. (I am an American, I love extra space) This was a mistake. I chose a stall with no toilet paper. I could see the TP from the neighboring stall hanging down enough to grab...the problem was that there was someone in that particular stall. You might be thinking, why didn't you just ask her or some TP? Well, I will tell you...I am an avid Seinfeld fan and that episode where Elaine needs TP is all that I could think about. I was fearful of the snotty rejection the phone-sex mistress might slap in my face. I decided to wait her out. This was not an easy chore as I had arrived before her. At last she finished her business and went on. Unfortunately, she had used the long dangling toilet paper, creating yet another obstacle for me to get through. Luckily I have long arms. I reached up under the stall and successfully grabbed the toilet paper. Success!