Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Hypochondriac, I'm Sick of You

Have you ever had a friend that sucked because they were always sick. That friend that when they say they're sick you think to yourself, "yeah, but you always feel like crap so what's the point of missing out on all the fun?" Well, those people are making me sick. They are draining my joy and happiness with their pessimistic ailments. Don't bring me down you know-nothing-cry-baby. If you're not bleeding, vomiting, or dying get over it you're missing out on life.

Maybe if you had a midget in your life you would be so sick all the time!

Friday, October 9, 2009


I don't like to make broad, generalizations about groups of people (which is obvious from my previous posts) but midgets are kind of creepy. Perhaps it's just the idea that they are different than we are. Yes, I truly do feel like that generalization is accurate.

Half Stalls

If you've had the pleasure of reading this blog previously you probably know that it's a very rare occasion that I write something personal. Today, however, I have reason to tell a story from my own personal experience. I had to go to a training for my job. At this training the public restrooms available for well, restrooming, have only half a wall and half a door. Standing about a foot taller than the average woman this is a bit of a vulgar situation. I'm not sure why these restrooms have but half stalls, but I sure don't like them.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Public Education and the Evils Thereof

There are many problems with public education. I know it, you know, and the ridiculous suits who try to create a better way of doing it know it. The problem doesn't lie with teachers or even with the things we ask students to learn. No, the problem starts at home. You see a child who has never been exposed to certain things such as proper English is coming to school several years behind where they're expected to be before even beginning school. Children are expected to have been read to, given attention, learned or at least heard the alphabet. Yet more and more that is not the case for so many students. Is this something that the government can control? Is there some way that parents could once again be responsible to have the integrity to teach their children basic knowledge before sending them to school, short of putting sterilizing chemicals in the water to prevent procreation of the ignorant. Well, we can prevent procreation of the ignorant to a certain degree. If our welfare system didn't so thoroughly encourage the idiots of the world to breed, we could cut down on some of our problems. I suppose the fact that we're heading for socialism under the new regime of anti-American tyrants may also do something to help, but I'll not hold my breath.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Whatever You Do, Don't Do Meth

Recently my sister and I were driving through Colorado, a beautiful state with many wonderful attributes. As we were enjoying the scenery in the under appreciated plains of the state it came to our attention that the highways have been desecrated by "Say No to Meth" billboards. These aren't your typical "This is your brain, this is your brain on drugs" billboards either. These are very descriptive billboards that allude to the horrors of prison, prostitution, and other situations you would never expect to be in, yet that's the path that meth leads you down. It's unfortunate that these billboards distract from the landscape, but I know one thing...I'm sure not going to do meth; although, I had made that decision long, long ago so I don't know if the billboards are actually affective or just really disturbing. I'd like to interview a meth user after they've seen the campaign...are they scared straight, or do they just go back to their lives of prison, prostitution, and street walking? I feel like that question is a Lifetime movie waiting to happen and when it does, I'll be there to watch.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Things That Irritate Me

There are a million and a half things that bother me on a fairly regular basis...some of these things are of very little consequence, but I thought I'd share.

Sweat pants

People who tell endless stories about their nieces/nephews (I am sort of guilty of this...I don't tell that many, but it's still irritating I'm sure)

The Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign

Women who don't embrace their femininity

Obligations that feel like obligations

Other people's pets

Dirty dishes in the sink (I still live with roommates)

Muscle shirts

Being too full

Using the 'f' word as a form of comedy...how funny is it that one can swear?

A lack of manners



The entire continent of Africa and anyone with a bleeding heart for it

Having someone speak condescendingly to you.


The idea of insurance

The lack of time machines: I was sure by the year 2000 we would have figured out time travel and I would be having adventures very much like those of Micheal J. Fox in Back to the Future.

Art Deco architecture

Southwestern interiors

Reverse racism

Untweezed eyebrows

Being on the bottom of a dog pile with burly men.

Poorly animated cartoons

John Lennon

Americans who are obsessed with Asian culture

Making Mistakes

Depressing music

Losing my keys or cell phone

If you've made it to the bottom of this list you know how to avoid bothering me!