The "M" Word

So my dear friend was watching Oprah the other day and was subjected to possibly the most ridiculous topic of discussion ever: midgets. If you have perused my blog previously you might be asking yourself at this point why I of all people would think midgets are ridiculous...I love midgets. In an obscure way. At any rate, back to Oprah and the issue at hand. As Oprah often does, she was hosting a little television show. On this particular show, the main guests were little people. It is very important that you notice that I say little people at this point, as we are about to learn a little lesson in political correctness. As it turns out, using the term midget is as offensive to little people as the "n" word is to African Americans. Well, that is just silly. Midget is the highest of compliments for a little person. There are far more derogatory terms that I could use. I could call a short person a munchkin or a gnome, that seems worse than midget. More over, dwarf was acceptable to the pygmy that appeared on Oprah. Tom Thumb isn't exactly a compliment. Gulliver's Travels has instituted the term Lilliputian, which seems worse than midget, pixie, or simply calling them a wee shadow of a person. In the thesaurus I found that a synonym for pocket portable people is actually trivial and unimportant. No one wants to be considered unimportant...I really feel that these little people should stick with midget, or possibly munchkin (I'm not really sure which one is the "m" word).

I Can't Spare a Square

This evening I had the opportunity to attend a little movie known as Mamma Mia. I quite enjoyed the movie. Before going to the movie I went to dinner with my cousins and sister-in-law. At said dinner I was exposed to, and therefore drank, a vast amount of diet coke. Anyone who has spent any amount of time with me knows that my bladder is the size of a pea...thus diet coke is a dangerous combination. Now before you start thinking that I wet my pants, let me stop you: I did not. Back to the movie. Before the movie started I felt compelled to use the restroom for the fourth time since dinner. I didn't want to have to leave during the main event. I politely walked out of the theatre and down to the restroom, where I naturally went into the handicap stall. (I am an American, I love extra space) This was a mistake. I chose a stall with no toilet paper. I could see the TP from the neighboring stall hanging down enough to grab...the problem was that there was someone in that particular stall. You might be thinking, why didn't you just ask her or some TP? Well, I will tell you...I am an avid Seinfeld fan and that episode where Elaine needs TP is all that I could think about. I was fearful of the snotty rejection the phone-sex mistress might slap in my face. I decided to wait her out. This was not an easy chore as I had arrived before her. At last she finished her business and went on. Unfortunately, she had used the long dangling toilet paper, creating yet another obstacle for me to get through. Luckily I have long arms. I reached up under the stall and successfully grabbed the toilet paper. Success!

Skanky Hose

Every girl wants to wear fishnet hose or some other tawdry pair of pantie-hose that make you feel sexy. If you don't, then I feel that you should reevaluate your womanhood. Just as a side note, I don't think that women evaluate their womanhood enough. We get after men who are too metro or seem effeminate, they have a real stigma in society; yet, there are no repercussions for tomboys, or softball players. What's up with that? At any rate, back to the situation at hand. I would like to encourage every young lady to buy a pair of skanky hose, and wear them proudly. I bought a pair maybe two years ago, wore them to church, and receive what could be the equivalent to a standing ovation in a religious type setting. Not only did young man after young man compliment me, but one of the leaders of my church stopped me, told how much he liked the pantie hose, and then preceded to ask where he could find some for his wife...

Blink (Book Review)

I've just finished reading a psychology book entitled Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. The basic gist of the book is to explore our unconscious thoughts. Then Gladwell takes it a step further and pits conscience thought against unconscious thought...which one is better? What I found to be most intriguing is that in many cases, including the battle of Chancellorsville during the Civil War, snap judgments are more effective that having tons of data to sift through. There are several examples throughout the book of instances that our thought process and the deciphering of too much information created a skewed view of things. Often time when we are making decisions, we have an instinctive feeling about what we should do; Blink suggests that we should follow that instinct.

While snap judgments are important to us and can serve a very useful purpose, Gladwell also discusses the darker side of "the heat of the moment". I appreciated that Gladwell did not cram a theory down our throats and just expect us to accept it for what he was saying.

I enjoyed reading this book and suggest it to anyone who likes non-fiction. It was a very easy read, with interesting history splash throughout it!

Mystery Show Face-Off

Growing up I was exposed to just about every mystery show you can think of. Matlock was the order of the day during the summer time; Father Dowling Mysteries was my bedtime story; Jessica Fletcher seems like part of the family; even Columbo made an occasional appearance. My mother and I have tossed around the idea of becoming a Mother-Daughter Crime Fighting Team! My mom is incredibly observant, and with a little training I could be the muscle. The only down fall I really see is that as of yet, we haven't managed to make the acquaintance of any useful sidekicks, like a police officer or someone at the courthouse. I do have a classmate that works for the police department in my home town...perhaps I should start working that angle.

At any rate, it is not my mother and my future that I would like to discuss. Actually, that is about a million miles from my topic this evening. I would like to see the mystery show stars in a final show down of wit, ability, and sheer brute strength. Matlock vs. Father Dowling head to head. Angela Lansbury vs. Tomas Magnum. Simon and Simon vs. Starsky and Hutch. All the greats (excluding Columbo as he has that defective eye, and you can hardly expect a handicap man to be a contender in such a match) going at it in a cage match, winner takes all. Yes, I think it would be a thing of beauty to throw the great minds from our television set into an iron cage and lock the door, refusing to open it until someone was dead or brutally beaten. I'm putting my money on Magnum P.I.

Of Mice and Men

First of all let me say that this book was far shorter than I had anticipated it to be...I had assumed that it would be rather long considering it was made into a movie; on the contrary, it is only 107 pages and a very quick read at that...this is coming from a very slow reader.

As far as the book, I enjoyed it. The friendship of Lennie and George parallels relationships I've experienced; the devotion and concern for a friend was heart wrenching and very applicable to my life. The tragedy of loss is bad enough, but for George to have been the cause is a difficult concept to bare...though it has to be, it would have been far more difficult to bear if Curley had been given the satisfaction of taking care of Lennie.

Though the story has a sad ending I liked reading it!

Book Reviews

At the suggestion of a friend I will be submitting an entry every time I finish a book. Let me go ahead and warn you now that once the school year starts my book reading will virtually stop. I might also go a little retro on you and write commentaries about books I've read in the past. We'll see how this goes...if you have any suggestions of books for me please feel free to comment!