Stretch Pants: The Unjust Hatred of a Comfortable Fashion

Stretch pants have a reputation for being worn only to Wal-Mart. It's a tragedy that this is the case because stretch pants are one of the most comfortable fashions ever. The real problem is, that like skinny jeans, people who should not wear them do. We've all been walking through the aisles of our favorite discount store and seen coming toward us an over-weight woman with faded lime green stretch pants and camel toe. It's frightening and a gross misuse of not only a color that has the potential to be lovely, but a fashion that could do so much for so many. As of late the stretch pant/legging has returned in full force to public acceptability. It's temporary on the fashion cycle, but I will enjoy it while I can and I encourage you to do the same...go forth in comfort.

Ode to the Crack House...Yet Again!

So, here I sit at 1 o'clock in the morning, and across the vacant lot outside my kitchen window sit two men, BBQing in the backyard of the crack house. It is my suspicion that something is going down tonight!

Ode to the Crack House...A Continuation

The crack house just outside my kitchen window has recently gone through some "home improvements". It would seem that as an effort to clean up the act and become more reputable they've changed a few things...don't get so excited, this is no where near the truth. As a matter of fact, the only change is that they've moved the trampoline southeast slightly to make room for their above ground pool. This pool is falling apart at the seams and I'll be very surprised if they can actually put water in it. My greatest concern, however, is that I would prefer not to see the crack-housers swim in it. Bathing suits will be bad enough, but I can't shake the feeling that a romantic skinny dip is part of the ritualistic goings on that I'm all too privy to! I'll keep you posted as to whether I see any flesh.

Her Boobs Don't Need a Bra...She Bought Her Self-Worth!

Although you may have thought I had died or fallen off the face of the earth, I am in full force and on a soap box. It was quite a climb to get atop this particular issue, but here I stand and look down on those around me...it feels good!

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "I'm not that pretty and I'm not that smart...what, oh what is a girtl to do?" If so, only moments later you probably came to the conclusion that breast implants were the answer to all your slef love issues. Well, I"m here to tell you that you are in fact, an idiot. First of all, you have now taken the afore mentioned thought and screamed it from the roof top: "HEY, I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF". Secondly, you are choosing to put your body through unnecesaary surgery, pain, recooperation time, pain pills that could become addictive...not worth it. Third, have you thought of how incredibly selfish it is to your future children...think about breast feeding, it's an important bonding experience for mother and child. We have enough ADHD, autistic, video game playing freaks without the complications caused by a lack of breast feeding. And finally, is worth paying ridiculous amounts of money for your vanity? Get a $200 haircut, you'll feel jsut as good and you can repeat thsi process without needing an intervention (Michael Jackson, Cher, Raquel Welch). I'm jsut saying.

Alright, I'm decending my soap box to live among the silicone laden skanks of the world and if after reading this you still choose to augment your breasts to look good in a bathing suit, I will indeed be judging you behind your back and in front of your newly perky bosom.