Hockey

I was privileged enough to go to a hockey game last night here in Houston, Texas. Only a few decades ago you would have said to yourself, "How do they even have ice in Houston?" Well, I assure you that we are American and we will indeed find a way to steal Canada's pride and joy...hockey. Actually, I found out last night that hockey is not Canada's national sport, neither is sucking. Their national sport is La Cross, who knew (well, the guy sitting next to me for one.)

Anyway, it is interesting to me that most hockey players look like they should play hockey. You know that I'm almost retarded because I get hit a lot look. It's almost uncanny. I once dated a hockey player, who didn't look like a hockey player. In fact, when he told me that he had played hockey, I thought he was lying, and my bet is...he was probably no good.

At this point I must admit that I may have offended a vendor that works at the Toyota Center. Luckily, I don't care but it is kind of a funny story. She approached our group of 10ish people (I say 10ish because I don't know the exact number, not because I question whether any of us were actually people) and asked if we would like to buy a Breast Cancer Awareness Hockey Puck. I retorted, "I am opposed to Breast Cancer Awareness, so no thank you." She didn't seem amused and the group I was with required an explanation. If you've read my blog, you know that I was speaking the truth, I am against Breast Cancer Awareness and all the pink ribbon hoopla. However, I had said it to shake things up, not offend her. It's kind of like when the people at Target ask if you'd like to save 10% by opening a Target Credit Card. My reply is always "I'm opposed to saving 10% but thank you." You've got to keep people on their toes, that's all I'm saying!

We had amazing seats, 5th row! Although I will point out that at a hockey game every seat is a good seat because they don't open up the top two sections...you know the sections where you could get a nose bleed from the altitude. We were fortunate because not only were there several fights, but there was a team brawl! Thant's right a TEAM brawl! We love it.

I only stayed for 2 periods. I would like to take this opportunity to say that hockey games last WAY too long. There is no reason for the 3rd period and I think that the NHL and other organizations should really rethink their rules. Anyway, I had a great time!

World Peace

It's that time of year again, when people start thinking more fondly of each other and showing kindness because it's the decent thing to do. It's sad that the Holidays or a beauty pageant have to be upon us to promote World Peace. This is no longer the case. I feel that I have the solution to all of life's problems: BACON! That's right, you heard me a deliciously fatty meat with a savory salty flavor could make your daily life World Peace oriented all year round. Just think for a moment if you were to bring your boss a side of bacon to the office in the morning you're bound to win his/her approval. Perhaps even earn a raise. That neighbor who is constantly crossing the line whether it be a literal property line or a figurative line of something like loud music until all hours of the night. If you took that neighbor bacon, no longer would they irk you just to get under your skin, no they would graciously accept and take a quick break from their Jewish roots to enjoy the pork product that you prepared with care. So, the next time you think someone is being an unforgivable jerk, just order a side of bacon and send it their way!

Oops...My Mouth Got Me Into Trouble Again

That's right, I got in to trouble because of my mouth and for once it wasn't kissing anyone.
In my line of work I have to attend trainings and refresher courses on a regular basis. Today I attended one of these trainings. As the presenter was having us work on little activities, she would also continue talking. At one point she asked a question. I am the type of person who, when asked a question I answer; when someone emails me, I write back; when someone calls me, I answer or call them back when I can. So the question was "Did you all have a good first session this morning?" There were crickets...no response. Then she re-stated the question. Well, I thought to myself, someone better say something before she asks again. So I replied, "I didn't go to the first session, but I'm sure it would have been great if I had."
Later in the session she stopped and apologized for the fact that she was being emotional. She then brought up the fact that she didn't mean to offend me with her negative statement. I'm hear to tell you-it takes more than a coat of paint to win it at Thunder Road. In other words, I wasn't offended and I didn't think her statement was negative. What I did think was that her breaking down and crying in front of our groups was HILARIOUS!

W

I love George W. Bush!

Shake Yo A**

So if you haven't noticed, Halloween has of coarse turn in to a whore fest. Well, I must admit that I have indeed dressed up in a raunchy excuse for walking out the door practically nude. I don't judge those who do. I will say that the guilt factor of my past costumes may be the reason I have been on a "real person" trend. As of late I have dressed up as people I actually know. It's fun and exciting and it gives you a chance to openly mock your friends idiosyncrasies! Just a suggestion if you feel that Halloween and prostitution should not have quite so much in common!

Texas Pride

Texans are known for their pride, but I would venture to say that most people are just as proud of where they are from as Texans are. What is the difference you ask. Well let's just say if you drove an El Camino you wouldn't go bragging to the guy who pulls up next to you in a Porsche, that you have the best car ever. So when people meet Texans, they can't help but keep tight lipped about their good, but not great states.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

As I have recently moved near a railroad track it has occurred to me that we still use trains. What has escaped my knowledge is why. For the love it is 2008, we have telephones that get the Internet. Are trains absolutely necessary. And if they are, why are they so inefficient. It's like train and rail technology stopped with World War II. The only thing that should have stop progressing with World War II is the Great Depression and if you will recall your history, it did!