Going Green

Going Green is in fact the new Breast Cancer Awareness. This statement may confuse and even anger some of you...well, both of these topics anger me! Let's start with Breast Cancer Awareness, it's older and take a little more heat. The problem I see is that the cause has become so commercialized that it is no longer about researching to find a cure for a life threatening illness, it's about buying everything you can think of from plungers to Kitchen Aides in the only shade of pink that makes me want to vomit. That's right, there is one shade of pink I gag when I see. Further more, if we started promoting prostate cancer research and selling everything under the sun in a tacky shade of blue, there would be a women's rights group ready to protest...what is that, I thought the idea of Women's Rights was to be equal, not belittling.
Moving right along to going green. The environment is important and let's not start littering or anything, but when we start taking Al Gore's "theories" as gospel, we need to stop, take a deep breath, and look at the twisted trail we are spiraling down. I promote buying hybrid cars, but do they all have to be so ugly? I've only seen two models that didn't look like we should drive them over a cliff to end there aesthetic misery. The truth of the matter is, Hollywood tries to be socially minded at times, the result is that the army of mindless drones that follows Hollywood like they're gods and goddesses follow as quickly as they can. Well, much of Hollywood has decided that being environmentally conscience is necessary, thereby turning the Green Movement into the latest trend!

I Like Smoke and Lightening...

Heavy Metal Thunder! That is in fact my favorite lyric in the song "Born To Be Wild" today, it is quite applicable to my life. Last night I came home from a little jaunt I had taken to St. George, Utah with some family. This was a weeks vacation within my actual vacation. We played hard, stayed up late, and had an incredible time. When I returned home I was worn out and tired of sleeping on an air mattress, though not returning to my own bed, I was excited to be back to my friend's home-where I have resided for the past threeish weeks.
Upon my arrival, my friend informed me that a group of her friends were planning to go out to dinner. As I had not eaten since lunch, I jumped on the chance to join them. I was at this point a little lethargic and quite irritable...not a great combination. At dinner I did my best not to scare the locals. Luckily, big-haired man we will refer to as Christian T. Farmer, was seated next to me. In case you are unaware, I love big hair...I also love the Simpson's which Mr. Farmer was able to discuss with me. As we sat there chatting (with the entire group) Mr. Farmer brought up the fact that he planned to set himself on fire later that evening. I was well aware of this event as my friend Dana had mentioned it in a text message. As soon as I received the text message I had mocked Christian for his ridiculousness and belittled all that would be attending the event, labeling them as LAME. So, as Christian mentioned the pyrotechnics planned for the evening, I listened, questioned, and silently judged. Then however, Christian pulled a fast one on me and asked if I would like to be lit on fire...how could I say no to that. In the following video you will witness the side way view of what transpired from my inability to say "No"! Just for the record, I regret nothing! ENJOY!



I really wasn't much of a dancer.

Please Don't Do That, That's Weird

This year I had a child (who shall remain nameless) in my class who randomly beeped. This was indeed an attention getting strategy. One day in the middle of my story the student started beeping in slow methodical intervals. I simply looked at the child, addressed the child and said, "_________, please don't do that. That's weird." Never again did this child beep in my class. Moral: Sometimes people need to be told in a kind but firm manner, "Please don't do that. That's weird." Now that I have unleashed this power to the public I simply ask that you use it wisely, and try a third-grade teacher voice as it will come across a little less offensive! Good luck.