The Genius Within

You may or may not be aware that The Simpson's has been running for only five or so years less than I have been alive...that is a long time in TV years. You may be asking yourself how in the world a cartoon can captivate the world so. Allow me to explain.
Number One: The Simpson's is still a family oriented show. In the days of Friends and Will and Grace it's refreshing that no one is really sleeping around to find their self-worth, but rather exploring wild get rich quick schemes.
Number Two: It's very cleverly written. People tend to underestimate the hilarity that lies within The Simpson's. There are always several dimensions of funny. There is the low-brow, slap-stick funny; there's sophisticated cultural moments that one must be on there toes for; and of coarse there is the oh so in your face political/social statements that remind us that as a society, sometimes we are ridiculous.
Number Three: Every situation that occurs in my life can be compared to an episode of the Simpson's. There is always a well fitting quote to spout off and often a song that can make me chuckle!
All in all what I am saying here is that if you don't like The Simpson's, give them a second chance. They are not the most offensive television program out there and they aren't based around sex and other immoral acts. So think Yellow, think Family, think The Simpson's!

Fan Base

I think I've lost my fan base. As you may have noticed it's been a little while since I've written anything. And probably even longer since I've written anything worth reading. The truth is sometimes life just throws a very boring couple of months at you in which you wallow in your own self pity and cross your fingers that you don't get a bed sore from laying around. Lucky for me, that is not why I haven't been writing. Mostly it's because school is almost out, but also because I don't have Internet readily available. (Insert gasp here) Please take a deep breath because I'm sure that shocked and horrified you...we (my roommate and I) don't have television either. I think the Internet is really difficult for her to get along without and the TV is difficult for me to get along without, so we have a very tragic life style. Truth, we just don't see all the muck that makes the rest of the world materialistic and shallow! At any rate, this I suppose is a last ditch effort to win my non-existent fans back!

Drunk Men and Home Depot

To my readers that do not know me personally (in other words if you accidentally stumbled upon this page and don't know how to navigate away, you are stuck reading what I call my insights) I am 6'1". This serves me very well as it tends to get a lot of attention in most situations. One day I was at Home Depot with a couple of friends. They started bickering for the one hundredth time that day (they were roommates trying to make some decisions about their new apartment). This particular attitude had worn thin on my nerves, so I chose to go elsewhere to look around.

A gentleman (I am using the term VERY loosely) approached me and asked me how tall I was, this is something that happens very often so I thought nothing of it and gave my typical response: "How tall do you think I am?" The reason I respond this way is that I have found people don't always believe me when I say 6'1", they always think I am taller. To avoid arguments, I always find out what they perceive me as first. This particular gentleman did say 6'1" so with great enthusiasm I congratulated him on his correctness. At this point I was done with the conversation and began to walk on. My dear little friend, however, was not done. He followed around the corner and continued to talk to me. He told me how pretty I was and that if I were his wife he would take me dancing. At this I smiled and laughed, and tried to continue on my way. Before I knew it, this short man was dancing with me in the aisle at Home Depot, he smelled of alcohol and he continued to lay on the charm. At about this time my friends called my cell phone to tell me that we were leaving...I was most grateful for the interruption! You never know what you'll get at the Home Depot!

Home On The Range

Well here I am home for the weekend. I love coming home. I am from a small town in Colorado, it surrounded by feed lots on three sides and the wind blows like the dickens (not an English family in the early 1800's blowing as hard as they can). There is just such charm in our one-movie theatre that has exactly two show times, going to the grocery store and knowing everyone you encounter, and of coarse hitting the donut shop with enough people to fill the entire place! Family is just such a fabulous gift...I hope you are enjoying yours or plan to soon!

TGIF

Does anyone else think that perhaps we should give ourselves more of a break. I come home so wiped out on Friday night, all I want to do is sleep. It's hard to be the ultra charming and seductively alluring sex pot you have all come to know and love, after a long day of entertaining 40 8 and 9 year olds. Further more, I do feel that it's hard to have a clear mind when you're sleepy. Whatever, the less sleep the worse your judgment...I guess that just means more fun.

In Response to Charlton Heston's Death

I can not claim to be the author of this great work, yet I will not deprive my readers of such genius!  This is the work of a dear friend:

"Let my people go, you damn dirty apes!  You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead hands!  And can't you see the Soilent Green is people?"

Gun-owners and Jews everywhere mourn the loss of Charlton Heston.  Gun-owning Jews are hit particularly hard.

I you're like Me, you recognize the epoch of his career as his defining performance in Wayne's World II.  Gordon Street?  I once knew a girl who lived on Gordon Street.  Long time ago, when I was a young man.  Not a day passes that I don't think about her and the promise that I made which  I will always keep.  That one perfect day on Gordon Street.  That's uh, five blocks up, two over.  

Rest in peace, Charlton.  Michael Moore can't hurt you anymore.

Good Golly Miss Molly And Other Stupid Sayings From the Past

Have you ever met one of those people who thinks it's really funny to use old sayings. Or their phrasology is just like your sixty year old grandmother's? I'm here to let you know, it's okay to think these people are annoying, and potentially hate-able, depending on what phrases and how often they use them. I'll be honest it's more of a feminine trait. For some reason girls think it makes them seem more innocent of sweet to use old school phrases. I don't have a problem with this if you can tell that they genuinely use this language because their mother did, but if you can tell they are slipping it in there hoping for a comment, bring on the smack down. So, down with good golly Miss Molly and son of biscuit...I am putting my foot down *NO MORE LAME PHRASOLOGY*